(50) Days of Movies

Edelstein on Movie 43: Were These Actors Blackmailed to Appear in This Rauncy Fiasco? -- Vulture

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 18:40:54 -0500

Edelstein on Movie 43: Were These Actors Blackmailed to Appear in This Rauncy Fiasco? -- Vulture:

I feel validated in my opinion of Movie 43 by this review from David Edelstein over at Vulture. I just wish I had seen his review before I went to see this piece of trash. It’s not even worth seeing in a “so bad it’s good” sort of way. It’s just bad. Seriously, you guys, I can’t stress enough how ardently it should be avoided. I’ve never walked out of a movie before and I earnestly considered it multiple times; I never left because I figured there had to be something redeeming around the bend. There wasn’t.

Ok, now I promise to never mention Movie 43 ever again. I’ve already given it more time than it deserves.

4. Movie 43

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 19:16:27 -0500

Worst. Movie. Ever. Ok, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl is the worst movie ever, but this is a close second. It was so bad I’m not even bothering to include the poster on this post because it doesn’t deserve the publicity. There were a few slightly humorous bits (namely, the Naomi Watts/Liev Schreiber segment and a superhero spoof featuring the reunion of Justin Long & John Hodgman), but I don’t recall anything eliciting more than a chuckle from me. By no means did I expect it to be great, but it was so bad I’m actually angry at the people involved. Why did you involve yourself with this movie, Emma Stone? Who is blackmailing you, Hugh Jackman? Whatever dirt they have on you can’t be worth all this. Is someone hurting you Chloe Moretz? Do you need me to call Child Protective Services? Are they there right now? Cough twice if you want me to call 911.

Thankfully, Guys and Dolls is on TCM right now. Guys and Dolls is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. For the next two hours I’m going to sit back and let the brilliance of Marlon Brando and Frank Sinatra wash away the horror of what I just saw. It’s the only way.

Movie 43: Skip it. In the name of all that is holy, SKIP IT!

Watch Guys and Dolls, or absolutely anything else (other than Sharkboy and Lavagirl), instead.

Bonus Review: Ruby Sparks

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 12:19:00 -0500

You guys, I finally watched Ruby Sparks last night and now I think I’m in love with both Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan. I want to intrude upon their relationship and be with them at all times, absorbing their adorable genius every second of the day. If that doesn’t pan out, I will at least watch any and all movies Zoe Kazan writes in the future. I should have expected to have such a strong, positive reaction given her incredible pedigree. Her brilliant grandfather’s movies are some of the greatest of all time (On the Waterfront is in my All-Time Top 5; never mind that whole Blacklist nonsense), so I should have made a bigger effort to see this one in the theater last summer. Better late than never, but I vow to never make that mistake again.

3. Gangster Squad

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 22:50:00 -0500

Finally, our long national nightmare has come to an end. For 68 long weeks we suffered, unsure of what the future held, but knowing that these were darker times than we had become accustomed. There were moments—nay, days—during which I could no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feared that the darkness would never lift; that I would be subscribed to a lifetime of sightless wandering with only my rapidly fading memories to guide me. But at long last, our salvation. Sir Ryan Gosling has returned to our theaters, setting free the abundant joy of a populace who had long since forgotten how to feel. Sure, we had our Drive DVDs and our incessant BuzzFeed lists to keep us warm, but it wasn’t the same. And so I say to thee: Sir Gosling—welcome back. You have been missed.

Despite how grateful I am for Sir Gosling being back on the big screen, this is not a fantastic movie. It’s not a bad movie either, but it’s far from great. That doesn’t mean it’s not an enjoyable movie, though; in fact I enjoyed it very much, but I’m a sucker for 40’s/50’s Hollywood film noir. There’s just something about the way people dressed that draws me in, and Sir Gosling fit in very well in his nicely tailored suit and fedora. Emma Stone is no slouch herself. Plus, I’m a big fan of Ruben Fleischer (this is the man that brought Rob & Big to our televisions after all; he must be celebrated!). Overall, even though it was all just insubstantial fluff, the movie was just flat-out entertaining. It’s never going to win any awards or anything but as long as you don’t go in thinking it’s going to be Goodfellas (or even, more appropriately, L.A. Confidential) you shouldn’t be disappointed.

The only thing that really bothered me about this movie was the way the Mickey Cohen story was manipulated. I mean, yeah, I understand that the movie was simply “inspired by” a true story and was not intended to be an accurate biopic, and I get that tax evasion is a lot less exciting than murder. But I felt like they were trying to fool us into thinking the LAPD’s gangster squad took down Cohen, when in fact it was the IRS that sent him to Alcatraz. I guess it doesn’t really matter. Or does it? I’m torn.

Regardless, this movie was a fun time. If you, like me, were suffering from Sir Gosling withdrawal, you should definitely see Gangster Squad in the theater, because The Place Beyond the Pines doesn’t come out until March. Otherwise, this one can probably wait for your Netflix Queue.

Gangster Squad: Put it in Your Netflix Queue

2. Zero Dark Thirty

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 12:28:00 -0500

Here is the intelligence I’ve gathered: Movie=really good. Exciting. Thrilling. Engaging. Wrought with tension.

Best Picture Oscar? Maybe; would be okay by me.

Tough guys with beards? Super hot. Plenty of them here.

Torture? Disappointing and difficult to watch, but apparently it’s only wrong to depict when it’s a true story.

Navy SEALs? Ridiculously impressive.

Pit in my stomach? Present during SEAL scenes, even though outcome was known.

Jessica Chastain? Brilliant actress, and great at giving heartfelt acceptance speeches. Where did she come from all of a sudden? Don’t care, just glad she made it.

Kathryn Bigelow? Must stop referring to her as a “great female director.” Surely “great director” should suffice.

Jennifer Ehle? Previously and forever Elizabeth Bennet to Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy.

Zero Dark Thirty: See it in the Theater

1. Les Miserables

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 10:18:38 -0500

I was really excited to see this movie. The trailer gave me chills every time I saw it, both in the theater and on TV. I knew it was going to be an emotional experience on both joyous and heart-wrenching levels. It definitely lived up to the hype. But at the same time, this isn’t a movie I would recommend to everyone. I can easily recognize that Les Miserables is not everyone’s cup of tea.

I feel like I should make it known that I love musicals. Gene Kelly is my absolute favorite actor of all time (and my generation-eclipsing soul mate), so I’m already predisposed to enjoying movies where there is a considerable amount of singing. I love musical theater as well, even though I don’t get to see as much of it as I would like, what with the living in the Midwest and whatnot. However, I tend to prefer movie musicals to musical theater, or at least I prefer the types of musicals where people simply burst into song and then get on with their business as opposed to the more operatic musicals where people go about their business via sing-songy talking. Sing your song, then speak your words; that’s my motto. Therefore, because Les Mis is closer to the latter than the former, there were definitely moments where I was thinking, “Ok, let’s get on with it already.”

But despite those moments, my overall opinion on Les Mis is exceedingly positive. The chills I got from the trailer were nothing compared to the effect of seeing the movie in its entirety. It was just thrilling and amazing. For every five minutes of eye-rolling due to Russell Crowe talk-singing, there were ten minutes of chill-inducing magic. And as much as we all love to hate Anne Hathaway, her performance as Fantine was brilliant; the only reason I don’t want her to win the Oscar is because I’m not sure I can sit through another of her awkward acceptance speeches. Hugh Jackman was also fantastic; this is Daniel Day-Lewis’s year, but I’m thankful for the Golden Globes’s Drama & Comedy/Musical category split, which enabled him to get some well-deserved recognition. Pretty much everyone else was great too (how cute is Eddie Redmayne?!?!).

But getting back to my initial point, this is a really excellent movie if you’re into this sort of thing. If you’ve seen Les Mis on stage, or think it’s something you may be into, you should definitely see this movie. If you hate musicals or opera, hate stories about the French Revolution, or can’t bear to have an emotional experience in the theater, maybe you’re right to skip it.

Les Miserables: See it in the Theater (but only if you can tolerate talk-singing)

The Happiest Day of the Year

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 18:43:00 -0500

If you have been reading this blog from the beginning, you know that the Golden Globes is my favorite award show to watch (and to dream about attending). This year, my excitement for the Globes has been exponentially enhanced by its hosts. Whomever made the decision to have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host is the smartest person in Hollywood. I’m pretty sure this is the first time in history that I’ve ever been excited for an awards show because of the host(s). I mean, yeah, I would be excited about the Globes if it was hosted by an empty refrigerator box, or if they went back to the no host format. But I’m just as much excited about Fey & Poehler as I am about the awards themselves, which means I’m so excited about the Globes that my head might explode. Don’t let me down, ladies!

Now I’ll give you a quick run-down of who I want to win tonight. Not who I think will win, or who should win, but who I want to win. As we all know, guessing what those looney toons in the Hollywood Foreign Press are going to do is a fool’s errand anyway. So here are my selfish picks in the main movie categories:

Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables (I know, it pains me too, but I can’t deny it)

Screenplay: Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Director: Ben Affleck, Argo (I’d like to see him run the table of the other major awards to show how glaring the Oscar snub was)

Actress, Drama: Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty (the only performance I’ve seen in this category, and she was good)

Actor, Drama: John Hawkes, The Sessions (simply because he was snubbed by the AMPAS; this was a tough year)

Actress, Comedy/Musical: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook

Actor, Comedy/Musical: Bill Murray, Hyde Park on Hudson (haven’t seen the movie but he’s my favorite; Hugh Jackman deserves it (or Bradley Cooper), but I would also like to see Jack Black win this one)

Motion Picture, Drama: Zero Dark Thirty

Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical: Moonrise Kingdom

I know this is a movie blog, but I also have a few comments to share regarding the TV categories. Again, here’s who I want to win:

Supporting Actor: Mandy Patinkin, Homeland

Supporting Actress: Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey (the only acceptable option)

Actress, Drama: Claire Danes, Homeland (no one does crazy cry-face better)

Actor, Drama:Let’s give it to Jon Hamm for Mad Men this year. Guy can’t catch a break being nominated in the same category as Cranston & Lewis every year.

Actress, Comedy: Amy Poehler, Parks & Rec (no one deserves it more)

Actor, Comedy: Louis C.K., Louie

Series, Drama: Breaking Bad (Homeland is a close second)

Series, Comedy: Girls (these nominees are a joke; HFPA—you make me laugh)

So there you have it folks. Most of these picks will not pan out, but I hope some of them do. I’ll probably be live tweeting during the ceremony if you’re interested (@staciFB).

2012: The Year In Review (Plus a look forward to 2013)

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 17:45:00 -0500

2012 was a great year for movies. All nine of the Oscar Best Picture nominees are eminently watchable, and I think that’s saying something. I had a great time watching and writing about all of the 50 movies I saw (we have fun, don’t we?). I’ve even caught a couple flicks on DVD that I had missed at the theater. It’s going to be very difficult to narrow it down to my 10 favorite, but such is life. Without further ado, and in no particular order:

(50) Days of Movies’s 10 Favorite Movies Seen in 2012:

1. Safety Not Guaranteed

2. The Dark Knight Rises

3. The Avengers

4. Moonrise Kingdom

5. Looper

6. Argo

7. Jeff, Who Lives at Home

8. Beasts of the Southern Wild

9. Django Unchained

10. Celeste and Jesse Forever

Honorable Mention: Holy Motors; Silver Linings Playbook; Your Sister’s Sister; Sleepwalk With Me; Lincoln; Cabin in the Woods….I could go on an on. Lots of good ones in the mix and, honestly, if you ask me tomorrow this list might be totally different.

Also, in the spirit of the season (awards season, that is) I thought I’d hand out some awards in categories I am going to totally make up for no particular reason other than this is my blog and I can do what I want. I DO WHAT I WANT! Here goes..

2012 MVP: Mark Duplass

What a great year you had, Mark. We saw him on the big screen in Safety Not Guaranteed, Your Sister’s Sister and Zero Dark Thirty, plus on the small screen in The League and a few episodes of The Mindy Project (he was also in People Like Us, which I haven’t seen). Not only that, but he wrote and directed (with his brother Jay, of course) Jeff, Who Lives at Home and The Do-Deca-Pentathalon (also haven’t seen that yet). Plus, he’s super cute. What can’t he do?

Honorable mention goes to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Keep up the good work, Joe (“good work” in this sentence does not apply to Premium Rush. I’m sorry).

Best Movie Involving Time-Travel: Looper

This was a tough category, with Safety Not Guaranteed in close second (pretty sure they’re also the only nominees, but whatever). Both movies were totally original and super amazing, but Looper impressed me like no other movie did this year. It was just spectacular, you guys. You need to see it immediately if you haven’t already. It’s available on DVD so there are no excuses.

Best Instance of Male Full-Frontal Nudity: Michael Fassbender, Shame

Do I even need to explain this?

Best Use of Accordion Music: Holy Motors

I cannot emphasize how much I loved the Entracte in Holy Motors. I still think about it constantly. The entire movie was brilliant (and was probably #11 on the above list), but those three minutes were the most awe-struck minutes I experienced in the theater all year. Just ridiculously awesome.

Those are all the categories I could come up with. 2012 is over, and—other than some brief relapses for award shows—it is now time to look ahead to what’s to come in 2013. I’m not 100% sure what form this Tumblr will take in 2013. I would like to see 50 movies again, but sometimes writing about movies makes me enjoy the whole experience less. So I’m going to try to keep it up, but I’m not making any promises. I’ve already seen Les Mis and Zero Dark Thirty so far, and I’m going to try to write about them soon. But either way, thanks for following along on my journey in 2012. It’s been real.

Yours truly,

Staci

50. Jack Reacher

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 11:57:00 -0500

As I mentioned previously, I saw this movie at the ArcLight in Hollywood. I can’t say I did not enjoy this movie, per se; to the contrary, it was a fun flick. But the fact that I was watching it at the ArcLight was definitely the highlight for me. Tom Cruise is an interesting fellow—he can be simultaneously magnificent and creepy. I was obsessed with Top Gun, Cocktail and Rain Man as a child, so I will always have a soft spot for Mr. Cruise; but I also can’t erase from my memory the weirdness that has dominated his publicity in the last 10 or so years. I think he still has many very admirable leading man qualities, and is still capable of opening a movie, but as I’m watching him I can’t completely ignore the creep factor. Alas, it is what it is.

Probably the best part of this movie is that the villain is played by Werner Herzog. Yes, that Werner Herzog. Famed German Documentarian, Werner Herzog. He’s done a fair amount of acting as well, but it’s still a bit jarring to see him in action. Every time he spoke I couldn’t help but think of the excellent impression Paul F. Tompkins does of him, which I have enjoyed on many a Comedy Bang! Bang! episode. I knew the real Werner existed (I have seen Grizzly Man after all), but I think I kinda liked pretending that Tompkins’ impression was the real guy. Kinda like how I preferred to think of Will Ferrell’s impression of George W. Bush than the real man. It’s just more fun that way.

Anyway, this movie was alright. I really wish it hadn’t been my last movie of the year, but when Zero Dark Thirty is sold out, it’s sold out. You can’t argue with numbers.

Jack Reacher: Wait for it on Cable

49. Django Unchained

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 10:57:00 -0500

Holy Fucking Shit. Pardon my language, but given that this is a Quentin Tarantino movie I feel it’s appropriate. I loved this movie. Yes, it was probably 40 minutes too long, but I very much enjoyed the way it ended so who am I to say what should’ve been eliminated to save on time. And yes, I felt a bit uncomfortable at times with the incessant use of the n-word and the horrible truths on display, but thems is the facts. Despite those things, I absolutely loved this movie.

It helps that I saw Django Unchained in an awesome theater in Palm Springs, CA. The theater was absolutely huge. So great. But I’m also a big Tarantino fan. I would say maybe my enjoyment was heightened by my admiration for Tarantino’s work, but I saw this movie with my Dad (who, to my knowledge, isn’t very familiar with his previous films), and he loved it too. It was very bloody, to be sure, but it was also very funny and very exciting. If you’ve seen Inglourious Basterds, you pretty much know what to expect; it’s a very similar film in many ways, except here the enemy is slave owners instead of Nazis, and Christoph Waltz’s character is a good guy instead of a bad guy. Waltz was brilliant as always, as was Leonardo DiCaprio, but I was also awed by the amazing performances from Jamie Foxx and Samuel L. Jackson. Plus, Walton Goggins (my second favorite Hollywood Walton after David Walton) is in this movie, and there were a lot of fun cameos from other recognizable actors. As far as I’m concerned, Tarantino can keep making these revenge fantasies with as many enemies as he can come up with, and I’ll keep seeing them. You should too.

Django Unchained: See It In the Theater

48. The Guilt Trip

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 11:14:00 -0500

I’m not sure if having gone on a long road trip with your mother is required for enjoyment of this movie, but it certainly helps. I mean, sure, a lot of people go on road trips with their parents when they are children for vacations and whatnot, but there is something both magical and completely ridiculous about spending that much time in a car with a parent when you’re an adult. I’ve driven to Florida with both of my parents, individually, and it was quite an experience. Neither of my parents are anything like Barbra Streisand’s character in this movie, but I definitely related to many of the jokes.

You know what? I don’t think prior road trip experience is required to enjoy this movie. All that is required is having a parent. They do zany stuff that drives us crazy, until we realize that we have started doing the exact same stuff and it drives us even crazier. Because we realize our parents aren’t as zany as we thought they were, or that we’re just as zany. Hi-jinks ensue. That’s all this movie is about: appreciating your parents and their zany hi-jinks.

There is most decidedly a direct correlation between my enjoyment of this movie and the fact that I saw it with my parents. The constant reminder of them sitting inches away as their similar antics (and mine) were played out on screen by Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand only heightened my laughter (and it probably helped that we saw this movie before we left on a week-long vacation together; seen after said vacation, the same scenes may have made me weep). Sure, the humor is pretty broad, but I can get on board with that from time to time.

Plus, Rogen and Streisand are both delightful in their roles. I enjoy both of their work, so that helped, and your enjoyment of this movie may be enhanced or diluted depending on how you feel about them. Overall, my expectations for this movie were very low, and I found it thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish (speaking of the finish, this is the type of movie you may think is predictable, but I was even a little surprised by some things). It’s a great movie to watch with your parents. It definitely won’t wind up on my DVD shelf, but if I stumble across it on cable one day I’ll definitely stop to watch for a bit.

The Guilt Trip: Wait for it on Cable (or Netflix it if you love Rogen or Streisand)

47. This Is 40

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 14:35:00 -0500

Freaks and Geeks. Undeclared. The 40-Year Old Virgin. Knocked Up. The Ben Stiller Show. Heavy Weights. The Larry Sanders Show. Pineapple Express. Funny People. Anchorman. Superbad. Bridesmaids. Girls. The list could go on and on, and hopefully it will. Judd Apatow has been involved in one way or another with some of the greatest comedy of the last 20 years. Whether as a writer or a producer (or both), it seems like more often than not Judd Apatow has his hand in the cookie jar that is my favorite movie & TV comedies. Hell, even the Vanity Fair issue he recently guest-edited was spectacular. He has built up a very good reputation with me and therefore I give him a lot of latitude. In other words, I will enthusiastically watch just about any TV show or movie he is even marginally involved with, and—unless it is a complete disaster (which hasn’t happened yet)—I will also enjoy it on at least some level. And the same goes for anyone who has graduated from the Apatow Academy. I am, to say the least, a big fan.

With that being said, the first time I saw Funny People I was assuredly NOT a fan It was my own fault, really. Funny People came out in a time when I was less inclined to go to movies by myself. And I was very much interested to see the movie, so I went with the first people that were available to accompany me: my parents. As you can probably imagine, watching a Judd Apatow movie while sitting next to your father can be a bit uncomfortable. So the movie left mewith a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. But a few years later I revisited the movie, and have since read the script as well, and it is now one of my favorite Apatow movies. Why, you ask? Because it’s not just a comedy. Don’t get me wrong, I love movies that make me laugh consistently for 90 minutes. But I can also really appreciate a comedy that is serious about real issues as well. Sometimes I like being able to laugh and cry at the same time. It’s healthy.

But anyway, I bring up Funny People because, at least to me, it has the same sensibility as This is 40. They are similar movies in that they are both comedic looks at very real issues: aging; family; marriage; children; etc. You know, life stuff. Is This is 40 a non-stop laugh riot? No, it is not. And it shouldn’t have to be. Enjoy it for what it is: an honest look at mid life with all its terrifying realities and a good measure of humor thrown in to keep you sane. It’s real. And much appreciated.

This is 40: Put it in Your Netflix Queue (because if you haven’t seen it in the theater yet, you probably never will)

P.S. Also appreciated is the complete lack of any acknowledgement that Katherine Heigl ever existed. Yes, this is technically a sequel to Knocked Up, but only in the sense that it checks back in with Paul Rudd’s & Leslie Mann’s characters a few years later.

P.P.S. I know some people might be concerned about the presence of Megan Fox in this movie. But I’m here to tell you not to worry. She’s barely in the movie, and she does a good job with her role. I promise.

Dreams Realized, Goals Achieved

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 23:21:33 -0500

Posting this quick update just under the 2012 wire to announce that I totally achieved my goal, you guys! I haven’t written the reviews yet, partly because I’ve been on vacation and partly because I’m lazy, but in the last twelve days (some may say the twelve days of Christmas, but only because they don’t understand what that means) I’ve seen the following movies:

47. This Is Forty

48. The Guilt Trip

49. Django Unchained

50. Jack Reacher

That last one was supposed to be Zero Dark Thirty, but it unfortunately didn’t work out that way. I would’ve also liked to sneak Les Miserables in there somewhere, but certain constraints (e.g., hanging out with family that was not interested) prevented me from doing so. But, as a consolation, I saw Jack Reacher at the ArcLight in Hollywood, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time (see a movie there, not see Jack Reacher). The ArcLight was everything I hoped it would be. And you know what? All four of these movies were pretty enjoyable, some more than others. Reviews to come. Happy New Year!!

46. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2: Ghost Protocol

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 17:47:00 -0500

Yup, you read that right. We’re talking about Twilight here. I can’t even believe this movie will go down in history as one of the movies I watched in theaters this year, but that’s neither here nor there. The fact is: I didn’t not enjoy this movie experience.

If we’re being honest here (which we should be, there’s nothing to be gained from lying), I have to admit that I’ve read all the Twilight books and I’ve seen all the movies. I fought it initially, because I tend to shy away from religious propaganda (of any denomination) and my feminist librarian of a sister was vehemently opposed, even though she’d never read the books so why listen to her opinion?? But I digress. My first exposure to this nonsense was through the first movie, which I very much enjoyed. I found the Bella character absolutely unbearable, however. So I decided to read the first book because I wanted to know whether Bella was written that way or whether it was Kristen Stewart’s choice to play her as a sniveling weirdo incapable of making sensible decisions. Turns out she was written that way. Also, my sister was right to be so vehement. Bella is a horrible role model for our youth. She’s just the worst. Similar to the warnings it places on cigarette packs, the US Government should attach a label to every Twilight book that says “WARNING: Reading this book may give vulnerable young women the mistaken impression that they cannot survive without a boy around to tell them what to do. This is not accurate.”

Nevertheless, I read all the books, becoming more disgusted with myself with every page turned. But I kept turning. And the movies are ten times more enjoyable than the books for a multitude of reasons, chief among them the unintentional comedy provided by every scene involving Taylor Lautner (give it a rest, Sharkboy) and the glorious presence of Michael Sheen (love him). So there was no doubt I was going to see this movie eventually, but I was content to wait until it arrived on DVD. But then the fine folks over at How Did This Get Made had to go and tape an episode of their podcast about this movie, featuring my favorite lover of movies, Doug Benson. I really wanted to listen to the podcast episode, but it’s always helpful to watch the movie first. And then I heard that this was the best movie of the franchise and the HDTGM guys loved it. Before I knew it, I found myself saying “one for Twilight” (which, by the way, might be the saddest phrase ever uttered) when I had gone to the theater planning to see The Hobbit.

But anyway, I saw this movie, it was tons of fun, I enjoyed it, and you should see it and then listen to the HDTGM episode. Doug, Jason and Paul pretty much say everything that was on my mind after watching it (other than some things they misunderstood due to not having read the books). If you haven’t already seen this movie, it’s probably because you have zero interest. I salute you. But you should just check it out on DVD anyway. You can make fun of Taylor Lautner at the very least. That’s always fun. I mean, just look at the poster above. It’s hilarious.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2: Wait for it on DVD

LOops...

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 15:26:31 -0500

My wise co-worker/friend Laurie wisely suggested on Friday morning that we blow off work that afternoon to go see a movie. I thought it was a great idea, because work is stupid and going to the movies is decidedly not stupid. There are a host of movies we could have seen that would’ve helped me in this, my time of need(ing to see 5 more movies before 2013 arrives). But you know what we did? We went to the Value Cinema and saw Looper. Why? Why would I go see a movie for a second time when I’m so close to my goal and yet running out of time? Why, I ask you?? BECAUSE LOOPER IS FUCKING GREAT. That’s why. Laurie hadn’t seen it yet and I wanted to share that joy with her. It was worth it.

But if I don’t make my goal, I’m blaming Rian Johnson.

45. The Sessions

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 10:13:00 -0500

I wish I could begin this review by saying, “The Sessions was Sessational!” because that would be both clever and hilarious. But to do so would ring false. Don’t get me wrong, this was a good movie, but I was largely unaffected by it. I kinda expected this reaction, and the only reason I went to see it was because I try to see every movie/performance that is likely to be nominated for one of the main Oscar categories. So I had to see John Hawkes’ performance, which I knew would be great because John Hawkes is always great. And I wasn’t disappointed. He definitely deserves the nominations he’s received so far this awards season and hopefully the Oscar nomination that is yet to come. He may even deserve to win some of those awards, or at least he would if it weren’t for that pesky Daniel Day-Lewis. But the movie, as a whole, felt a bit slight.

The plot itself is interesting. It’s based on the true story of Mark O’Brien, a man essentially paralyzed from the neck down due to polio who hires a sex surrogate (played by Helen Hunt) to lose his virginity. It’s a beautiful story, at times both touching and comical, and for the most part was an enjoyable journey. But when it was over, I felt like I would’ve gotten the same joy out of reading the story in the form of a New Yorker article (not surprisingly, the film was adapted from an article written by O’Brien). Sure, without the movie we would’ve been deprived of John Hawkes’ excellent performance, but we also would’ve been spared having to see Helen Hunt naked a bunch of times (this is the year of MALE full-frontal nudity, Helen; keep it in your pants!).

With that being said, I think this movie still merits your attention. It is a good, enjoyable movie. I was just left feeling a bit unaffected by it, by which I mean I enjoyed the movie while I was watching it but when I left the theater it didn’t come with me. I didn’t spend the drive home rehashing plot details or mulling over my favorite lines or scenes. Maybe that’s because I’m a cold, heartless demon with no capacity for emotional growth. Or maybe I’m none of those things and I just didn’t connect with this movie. Either way, there’s a good chance my lukewarm reception is personal to me. It won the Audience Award at Sundance, so I’m probably in the minority on this one. But again—I want to emphasize—this is not a bad movie. Far from it. I just kinda wish I had waited to see it on DVD.

The Sessions: Put It In Your Netflix Queue

44. Lincoln

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 11:06:00 -0500

The Screen Actors Guild and Golden Globe nominations were both announced this week, and it came as no surprise to me that Lincoln is leading the pack this awards season. I think everyone can agree that, if Daniel Day-Lewis does not win all the awards, it will be a travesty of immense proportions. Actually, I hate to backtrack on a statement I just made, but I’m not sure Daniel Day-Lewis deserves to be nominated at all. Why, you ask? Because I’m not entirely convinced that it was Daniel Day-Lewis playing Lincoln, but instead may have actually been Abraham Lincoln himself, he a time traveler who Steven Spielberg arranged to have brought to 2012 for the sole purpose of being in this movie (do you know for a fact that Spielberg doesn’t have that ability? If Bill & Ted can pull it off, I’m pretty sure Spielberg can too). Ok, ok, it was Daniel Day-Lewis, but Jesus Christ that man sure looked a lot like Honest Abe (trust me, I’ve done the research). So much, in fact, that by the end of the movie I was mourning the loss (spoiler alert: Lincoln dies) of a man I never knew personally and whose death I have known about my entire life. In other words, his portrayal of our 16th President was so perfect, I forgot that it was Daniel Day-Lewis portraying a character. I felt connected to President Lincoln like I never have before. Daniel Day-Lewis is a genius, and I’m a sucker for method actors who you know are probably total lunatics but are so good at their craft that you accept and applaud their eccentricities (I’m looking at you, Christian Bale).

But I don’t want Day-Lewis’s performance to overshadow the other magnificent work done by everyone in this movie. Although passage of the Thirteenth Amendment was decidedly a pivotal moment in our history and an exhilarating exhibition of political wrangling, in lesser hands it could have made for an extremely boring two-and-a-half hours. But it wasn’t boring. Surprisingly, watching Congressmen argue and debate about the fate of humanity makes for excellent viewing (maybe I should watch CSPAN more? No, no I shouldn’t).

A lot of the credit obviously goes to Tony Kushner and Steven Spielberg, and of course the magnetic performance of Daniel Day-Lewis, but there are so many amazing actors in this movie it’s ridiculous. I think there were even some extras who are Oscar winners. I recognized EVERYONE. Tommy Lee Jones was super great as Thaddeus Stevens, but these greats were also in this movie: Sally Field, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, David Strathairn, James Spader, Hal Holbrook, John Hawkes, Jackie Earle Haley, Jared Harris, Lee Pace, Gloria Ruben, Michael Stuhlbarg, David Costabile (RIP Gale Boetticher), and also the amazing Walton Goggins. Lukas Haas and Dane DeHaan even show up for two seconds as Union soldiers. Based on pedigree alone, this cast deserves the SAG Award (plus, the award might help ease John Hawkes’s pain over the misfortune of having his excellent performance in The Sessions (review forthcoming) come out in a year crowded with excellent performances).

This is the point in my review where I am tempted to go on a tirade about how the ideals of Democrats and Republicans have changed so much since the Civil War, and how I hope no one watches this movie and gets the wrong impression about which party is currently in the right on civil rights issues (I would have been typing such tirade from my soapbox, natch). I’m not going to do that. It would be a big bummer, and my delicate disposition can’t take such vitriol at this moment. So I’m just going to conclude my review by saying this is a really good movie. It makes me want to go back to school to become the world’s laziest History teacher, which job would involve me forming my curriculum around Steven Spielberg movie and TV projects (Schindler’s List, Lincoln, Band of Brothers, The Pacific, and Saving Private Ryan, just to name a few, plus—of course—Back to the Future, because if we don’t learn about the past we are destined to repeat it in the future). You should see this movie if for no other reason so you don’t feel left out come Oscar time.

Lincoln: See it in the Theater

43. Life of Pi

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 11:10:00 -0500

I had no intention of seeing this movie, if I’m being completely honest. I’ve never read the book, and watching a boy sit in a lifeboat with a CGI tiger for 2 hours just didn’t sound like a great time to me. But I was hearing some really good reviews, so when my co-worker friend Laurie and I were trying to find a movie to go see instead of working a few Fridays ago, Life of Pi made the list of possibilities. And it just so happened that it was the only movie showing at the right time in the right location. So I saw it. And I am happy to announce that I very much enjoyed this movie.

I had very low expectations going in to Life of Pi, but I don’t think that’s the only reason I found the movie so enjoyable. It probably helped, but the movie was also very engaging and beautiful. It was also heartbreaking and funny. I just enjoyed it from beginning to end. Laurie felt the same way. Ang Lee apparently spent four years making this movie, and his effort certainly paid off in my opinion.

I’m going to keep this review short because I have a bit of a backlog and I’m going to be seeing a bunch of movies in the next few weeks. Also, I don’t really have much to say about this movie. It was good. You should see it. But, with that being said, there are a ton of movies fighting for movie-goers at the moment. This movie is great if you want a movie full of adventure that is also heartwarming, visually stimulating, and contains some laughs for good measure. It’s certainly in a category of its own among the movies currently out. So before all the big movies arrive in the next few weeks, go see this movie. If you don’t make it, be sure to put it in your Netflix queue.

Life of Pi: See it in the Theater or Put it in Your Netflix Queue

42. Holy Motors

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 16:12:00 -0500

More like Holy Mindfuck! But in a good way. Like, in the best way. You guys, this movie is insane. I don’t even know where to start. Again, thank the lord for my Milwaukee Film Club membership, as this was the November member screening. It. Was. Amazing.

First of all, this is a French film. There isn’t a ton of dialogue, however, and some of the dialogue is in English, so if you’re afraid of subtitles for some weird anti-literacy reason, you’re going to have to come up with some other reason not to see this movie. The only reason not to see this movie—other than it isn’t playing in your city, which is a good possibility—is if you’re afraid of having your mind thoroughly and completely blown. I don’t know, maybe you prefer to live in a world where Tyler Perry’s movies are as experimental as it gets. That’s your decision. But this movie has to be seen. It just has to be.

The plot is never very clear, to be honest. It follows roughly 24 hours in the life of a man, played by the amazing Denis Lavant, as he travels around Paris in the back of a limousine going to various appointments. But it’s not like he’s going to the dentist. For each appointment, he TRANSFORMS himself (literally; the man is a chameleon) into strange and interesting characters and acts out what appear to be pre-ordained scenarios for an unnamed organizer.

And then THIS happens in the middle. (I don’t know how to embed it, sorry. Mental Note: Learn to play the accordion.)

I never want to hear anything other than that for the rest of my life. Truly transfixing. In the theater, I was mesmerized. It wouldn’t have mattered what happened after, because these three minutes may have been the most enjoyable three minutes I’ve had in a theater all year. Luckily, the rest of the movie was amazing as well. Half the time I was sitting there wondering what the hell was going on, but that’s part of the fun. It’s just..it’s so great. For some reason Eva Mendes and Kylie Minogue are both in it, too. And you see some penis, continuing what unfortunately has become my year of male full-frontal nudity in the cinema.

My description of this movie will never do it justice. SEE IT!

Holy Motors: SEE IT IN THE THEATER IF YOU CAN

41. Wreck-It Ralph

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 15:44:00 -0500

I saw this movie on Thanksgiving with my parents and sister (yes, I’m behind on my reviews again). It was the only movie we could all agree on. Actually, my parents and I could easily agree on many other movie options, but my sister is super picky. Although I enjoy animated movies, I don’t usually see them in theaters because they don’t excite me enough to feel like I can’t wait until they’re available in other mediums. But other animated movies don’t feature John C. Reilly and Sarah Silverman. Plus, a lot of people whose (comedy-related) opinions I respect have tweeted about how much they enjoyed it, so I figured it had to be good.

I probably would have enjoyed it more if I had not been in a turkey coma. There was a good 20 minutes in the middle of the movie where I thought I was going to die if I didn’t get to lay down immediately, but I soldiered through and made it to the end. I think the problem was the middle kinda dragged. The beginning was interesting because we were learning about Ralph’s world, and the end was exciting because, well, it was the end so that’s where all the conclusion-y stuff happened. And, for the most part, you knew where it was going, so during the middle portion I couldn’t help but wish they would get to it already. I blame the turkey (and my inability to exhibit any self-control on Thanksgiving. Seriously, it’s my favorite holiday). The end actually did have a few fun surprises, so I was wrong to wish for a hastening of its arrival. The ending was great, and I left the movie loving what I had just seen. I should have sat back and enjoyed the journey more. Again, turkey’s fault. And the mashed potatoes. Never forget the mashed potatoes.

I definitely plan to watch this movie again when it comes out on DVD, and maybe I’ll have a salad for lunch that day just be safe. Or maybe I’ll get all hopped up on sugary sweets, because a good portion of this movie takes place in a candy wonderland and having some of the stuff on hand couldn’t hurt. But anyway, this movie is funny and cute and features the voices of many people I greatly enjoy (in addition to Reilly and Silverman, and of course Jack McBrayer and Jane Lynch, you’ll also hear Mindy Kaling, Alan Tudyk, Joe Lo Truglio, Ed O’Neill, Horatio Sanz, and many others). You should definitely see it if you haven’t already, but at this point in the movie season you can wait for this one on DVD or premium cable.

Wreck-It Ralph: Put It In Your Netflix Queue